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How do you catch them?" Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!" Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."The Difference between Grandpa and Grandma Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old grandson out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his grandson.One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his grandson always looked forward to their drives and would. I froze and so did she. That image is still absolutely clear in my mind. She had her right leg up on the bed and her cheerleader's skirt was bunched up around her waist, so that her panties were showing clearly. She was looking at my hand and so was I. I knew that I should let go, but I had never felt anything quite like that.I don't know how long we sat like that. Her breast was warm in my hand underneath her fuzzy sweater. It was firm, but soft - a combination I had never even imagined. My curiosity finally got the better of me and I began to rub, exploring this new territory."Um. Mike." she said as she reached up and pulled my hand away, "You probably shouldn't do that." I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" by now my eyes had wandered down to her thighs."No, but boys shouldn't just grab girls like that." OK. But I'll bet Rob's done it before." Rob was her boyfriend - something of a nerd and definitely not the sort of person you'd expect a cheerleader to be dating."That's none of your.
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